You are a lot of layers.
If I were a bad writer I would compare you to an onion.
Like an onion.
I really doubt we’ll ever make anyone happy on OK Cupid.
I’m not giving up I’m just not going to create an account at all because
I opposite of reject you.
I love you.
I also love a lot of other people too.
I want to hold you like you are Mary and I am Joseph and I believe you.
I want to kiss you today or tomorrow.
I want our relationship to be like clips of people receiving huge free gifts from Oprah.
I do think it is okay to lie
I don’t think it’s okay to hurt people
so today I will tell everyone that their name is my favorite name
and when I kiss you and you kiss me back I’ll try not to think it’s because you are copying me.
I have to tell you
people are always dropping dead so i figure dead must be pretty heavy.
I can’t really read this part
cuz my handwriting sucks
my mom said I should use my computer to write
but for some reason my computer keeps shutting down
in the middle of sentences
One time I was gchatting with my mom and I wrote:
"Becca died sometime last night.
No one knows how,
everyone is over my house to not be alone.”
and then my computer died before I could see if that sent
so I sent my mom a text that said
"I’m sorry my computer died."
and she sent one back that said “I’m sorry Becca died.”
so i knew the gchat went through.
I’m telling you this because you remind me of Everything
and Everything is dead.
Everything was the name of my fish that died.
Sometimes when people laugh about Everything’s name
I think they are laughing at the fact that he died
but how do you know you wouldn’t like dying?
Have you even tried dying?
When something physically terrible is happening I usually try and think about something really nice
to ease the physical pain,
like a beautiful memory or dream
but right now I can’t think of anything nice at all
and I am really grateful I am not in physical pain.
All i want is a man who breaks up with me by saying, “it’s not poo it’s pee.”
and then we can laugh
like those two people on the train
who were talking about how often they fall.
Not a lot of people know I have a brother.
My bras are incredibly supportive of me.
Especially because they understand that not all heavy things relating to me are intentional.
Someone pat me on the back. I did a good job.
Someone pat me on the back. I have a cough.
Can I ask you some questions?
I was just talking to someone else but I wasn’t asking the right questions.
I have no one to talk to now except the security guard
and we have a good relationship that I don’t want to mess up.
"You met him and he wasn’t that great, right?"
"No one is that great, Casey."
Some of my eggs are being fried up for breakfast
and some of my eggs are sitting there waiting to be fertilized.
And it sounded so good in mom’s car speakers
to admit that I do want children someday.
It’s so good to be alive. You guys have no idea.